Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
