It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
