he told me I talked like a deaf person
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
