Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
