I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
