okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
