i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
