I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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