I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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