If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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