apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
