The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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