Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
