I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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