I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
i need some magic done to my vagina
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
