Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
