therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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