Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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