Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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