Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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