this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
