Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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