i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm too high and old for this...
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
