Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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