Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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