Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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