just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
My bed smells like the plague
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
