I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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