I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
