worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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