and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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