Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
