If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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