Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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