Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
