So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
