We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
