no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Randomize
