4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i want to swaddle you in tequila
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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