You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
