Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
