I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
