it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Randomize
