We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
