I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
