Say something about gay babies.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
