May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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