So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
