i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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