i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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