he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
