Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
