butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize