well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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