I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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