apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
