Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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