you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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