Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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