i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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