I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
