can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
