I didn't shave. On purpose
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
