Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
