I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
