If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
