she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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